


horns are broken halos

by badbavarois



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Rape, Past Child Abuse, aaron is autistic bc i'm not a coward, andrew and aaron developing a healthy relationship? yes, discussions of mental health, drake trial, lil bit of sexy times with katelyn bc i'm in love with her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:29:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbavarois/pseuds/badbavarois
Summary: Aaron's trial digs up a lot he wishes could keep hidden. He works through it, though.





	horns are broken halos

**Author's Note:**

> day four of twinyard week. i'm drafting this post so hopefully i remember to upload it tomorrow

 

The trial was scheduled for the tail end of June. Columbia is a swamp in the summer - the river swells and the humidity has always left Aaron feeling like a drowned rat after only a few minutes outside. His nerves don’t help any; just the idea of walking into the courthouse faintly reminds him of orgo practical.

 

He goes over the tips his lawyer, Some-Stereotypically-White-First-Name Waterhouse, told him a few weeks ago - don’t get angry, keep your voice neutral, don’t clench your fists where the jury or the prosecution team can see. He thinks Waterhouse is full of shit, but Allison says her family keeps him on retainer, so Aaron is sort of forced to trust him, even if killing your twin’s ex-foster brother with an exy racquet isn’t exactly in his wheelhouse. 

 

He told Katelyn that the other night over fried chicken and ice cream at Sweetie’s; she laughed, but her eyes were kind of squinty and her nose was wrinkled, the same way she gets when she’s stressing over calc homework in the library. She won’t say anything to him, but he knows she’s being seeing Betsy more often since the semester ended back in May. He hates himself for putting her in this position, but knowing she’ll be in the courtroom there for him the entire time is the only thing keeping him sane. 

 

With her, he thinks he’ll make it through all right, no matter the outcome.

 

…

 

Waterhouse has him plead guilty to the death of Drake Spear, but argue self-defense since he walked in him assaulting Andrew. He says it will get the jury on his side; killing your twin’s longtime abuser is a necessary evil. Once Andrew talks about their history and how Drake told him he wanted a matching set, how he loved Cass but Drake left him with seeing juvie as his only way out, they were almost assured a win.

 

It helps, that he didn’t have Andrew’s violent past and was pursuing pediatric surgery.  _ Killing pedophiles and helping children,  _ Bee had said during one of their sessions,  _ people like that kind of thing for a reason. People will like  _ you,  _ Aaron. No matter what Cassady Spear says about her son, no one will side with him. _

 

So Aaron gets five years of parole and no jail time when the trial ends a week later, just in time for summer practice. He moves back into his shared dorm with Matt and Nicky, gets drunk with the upperclassmen to celebrate, as Nicky says, “being a free man!” He doesn’t point out that he was never technically not, as it’s innocent until proven guilty, since free booze is free booze. 

 

He pretends he doesn’t notice that Kevin is the only person in his dorm next door - Andrew and Neil fucked off in the Maserati to who knows where, and didn’t come back even when pre-season training started. It makes sense, all things considered. Aaron knows how fiercely private Andrew is - he didn’t even know who Drake was that night at Uncle Luther’s house - and being around the foxes can’t be easy. 

 

But, God, does he hate it that Andrew doesn’t trust him enough to turn to him now.

 

…

 

He talks about it with Betsy, who’s using two metal rulers to organize her glass figurines. They look straight to him, but Katelyn explained some of her compulsions to him when they first started dating freshman year, like how she has to have her pens in a certain order in her pencil case, or the way she taps her foot in different patterns depending on what class she’s studying for. He knows his own autism and PTSD related rituals can be weird to outside observers, so he lets the both of them do their thing without question. 

 

When she sees him playing with his hands and tearing at his cuticles, she hands him a dust cloth, sits him down at her desks, and tells him to clean her figurines so they can streamline the process. She only started doing stuff like this recently, when he started coming bi-monthly instead of once a semester for the mandatory sessions, when she explained words like  _ stimming  _ and  _ healthy methods of handling needs.  _

 

“You have to see it from his side,” Betsy’s telling him. “I can’t discuss what I talk to him about, but I’m sure anyone on the team could tell you how much he guards his privacy. You said he had never mentioned his foster homes to you before, correct?”

 

He nods. He’s wiping down a pink and purple wolf with circular motions, right-right- _ left _ , right-right- _ left _ . 

 

“Okay, and now the entire team knows that he was raped repeatedly in foster homes growing up. They know what is under his armbands. Some of them saw the photos the hospital staff and police took. He probably feels embarrassed, but he knows that he can trust Neil not to push.”

 

“Does he think I will?”

 

“I’ve been seeing him for years, and even I couldn’t answer that question.” She pauses. She’s holding a bee statue; Aaron would bet against any of the foxes that Andrew bought it for her. “But, I need you to understand that Andrew is very good at repressing things he doesn’t want to think about. Seeing you would probably make it harder, though.”

 

“So I’m a trigger for him now?”

 

“Not a trigger,” Betsy reassures him. “But you are making him reconsider his place in everything.”

 

…

 

Andrew and Neil are back a week later. Neil’s neck is covered in hickeys, but one glare from Andrew is enough to shut Nicky up before he can make a sex joke. Andrew used to complain about Neil having a death wish, but Nicky is somehow even worse. 

 

With them no longer rooming together, it’s not hard for Aaron to avoid his twin when they’re not at court. Andrew’s still not trying at practice, and Kevin’s still yelling at him for it -  _ you missed three weeks already, doing more than just standing in the goal is the least you could do!  _ \- but Wymack doesn’t let him push too far. 

 

And Aaron waits for the right time to talk to him. He’s not sure it will ever come.

 

…

 

“Think about it like your mother’s death,” Betsy tells him.

 

“Andrew killed her,” he says without thinking.

 

Betsy sighs. “I’m going to ignore what you just said because I don’t think the team needs another murder trial any time soon. What I  _ was  _ going to say, is that your mother’s death and Drake Spear’s death are very similar.”

 

“How are they - “

 

She holds up her hand to stop him. “Andrew did what he did, however morally questionable, so he could protect you. No matter what feelings you still have for Tilda Minyard, you can not deny that she abused you and got you addicted to numerous drugs. You can be mad at Andrew, but he did it because he felt that was the only way to keep your mother from continuing to hurt you.

 

“With Drake, you killed him because he was hurting Andrew, correct? He hurt Andrew for years, and Andrew was powerless to stop him, but you were able to. Do you see how they’re similar?”

 

“Don’t compare my mother to a pedophile,” he says, even if he only half means it.

 

“I’m not. I’m comparing one abuser to another. I’m not saying you can’t love her despite her faults, but I am saying that it’s up to you to decide if what your mother did to you continues to hurt you to this day.”

 

… 

 

Katelyn’s suitemate Angie is home for the weekend, so Aaron spends the night in her bed. 

 

Sometimes being five foot zero is annoying, like when people ask him if he’s a high school student who lost his tour group, or when Roland jokes about having to card him even though he’s been slipping him and Andrew shots ever since they were seventeen and worked in the kitchen at Eden’s, or with how Katelyn has to lean down to kiss him. 

 

Other times, though, when Katelyn’s curled along his back, her warm arms wrapped around his stomach, being short isn’t so bad. Her nose is pressed against his neck, and her long hair tickles his spine. Her body heat and the weight of her blankets make him sleepy. 

 

“Janie is starting a study group,” she says, voice soft. Her breath makes goosebumps spread on his skin.

 

“The sophomore chem major?” After two years with Katelyn, he knows most of the vixens, but it’s still hard for him to place a name without a face all the time.

 

“Mhm. She said we could both join.”

 

“Do you think it would be helpful?” he asks, very aware of how her fingers are slipping underneath his shirt, tracing his ribs. For now, though, he’s content to keep his eyes closed. 

 

“Not particularly,” she says, before mouthing along his shoulder. They don’t talk about school for the rest of the night.

 

…

 

The first week of September, Aaron and Andrew resume their joint session. Aaron talks about the team and his classes while fidgeting with a stem toy Katelyn ordered him and Andrew goes through mugs of hot chocolate like they’re cigarettes. It’s not their most productive session, but Betsy says that they need to get back into the swing of things before they can dive in deep again.

 

Aaron ignores this in favor of saying, “I want to talk about Mom,” as soon as they’re back in the car. 

 

Andrew rolls down the windows and lights a cigarette in favor of replying. He doesn’t turn on the radio to his shitty early 00s pop punk, though, so Aaron takes that as a queue to keep talking.

 

“I started seeing Betsy to help deal with stress from school. She ended up diagnosing me with PTSD and autism.”

 

“And why do I care.” It’s the first thing Aaron’s heard him say all day, so of course, he doesn’t even bother to curl the end of the phrase into a question. It makes Aaron think of that first meeting at a juvenile detention facility in California, when Andrew sat at the metal table across from him and refused to acknowledge him. 

 

“She said that what happened with Mom - “

 

“Don’t call her that,” Andrew interrupts, but Aaron doesn’t let it stop him.

 

“ -  Is like what happened with Drake. That we were doing everything we could to protect each other.”

 

“The difference between us that I didn’t need you to protect me. Your concern is neither needed nor wanted.”

 

“So I should have just let Drake do whatever he wanted?”

 

“I don’t care what you do.” He stubs his cigarette out even though it’s only halfway to the filter and lights another one.

 

“God, Andrew. You were too fucked up to even notice what was happening.”

 

“You sound like Neil.” The comparison makes Aaron want to bash his head against the glove compartment.

 

“Fuck you,” Aaron spits out, but he smiles a little bit when he sees that Andrew is too. “But, anyway - I just wanted you to know that I’m not upset about what happened to M -  _ Tilda  _ anymore. I still love her, and I kind of miss her, but I understand why you did what you did. I probably would have been dead or in jail before the end of high school. So, thank you, I guess, for getting me my life back.”

 

“I’m not going to say  _ your welcome  _ for doing what needed to be done.”

 

“That’s okay. I didn’t expect you to. I’m still pissed for how you treated Katelyn, anyway.”

 

“I’m not apologizing for that. You don’t have the best track record when it comes to girlfriends.”

 

Aaron thinks back to high school, when girls would use him drugs or sex because his mom didn’t care about what he did. Andrew’s probably right.

 

“I know. I told Betsy about that, and she said it’s a reason, not I justification. I can understand your actions without agreeing with them.” 

 

“Did you tell Katelyn you’re going to leave her for your therapist?”

 

“Careful, Andrew,” he says, as they pull into the court parking lot. “Someone might hear and think you’re capable of telling jokes.”

 

And they’re okay.

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading!! comments/kudos are appreciated. you can find me at shuos-jedao or claude-lit on tumblr


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